Brandi Linn
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Viewers of all ages fell in love with Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist like they fell in love with each other on “The Golden Bachelor” last year. The two seemed to prove that no matter what you’ve been through, it’s never too late to find love.
So when Turner, 72, and Nist, 70, announced last week (three months after getting married on live television in January) that they had decided to divorce, people were predictably disappointed.
As one disgruntled Instagram commenter put it: “I wasted so many weeks of my life watching you pursue this man. Time lost that I can’t get back. I won’t be watching any ‘Golden Bachelor’ in the future.” What a disaster it turned out to be!”
Still, experts encourage “Golden Bachelor” fans, especially those inspired by Turner and Nist’s love story, not to despair: While it’s a shame this particular pairing didn’t work out, they say it’s still possible. find lasting love and romance later. life.
“Unfortunately, since examples of this type are rarely shown on television, this becomes a reference point for people,” he says. Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of the book “Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love.” However, he adds, it is important to remember that “you are not the example that was shown on television. Keep going… Love is absolutely possible and you should not give up.”
Further:‘Golden Bachelor’ Star Theresa Nist Speaks Out After Explosive Divorce Announcement
Why did ‘Golden Bachelor’ couple Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist get divorced?
in a long Instagram post on MondayNist thanked fans and loved ones for their support following the revelation of the couple’s breakup on “Good Morning America” on Friday.
“It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, something I never expected to happen at this point in my life and I truly thought it would last forever,” he wrote. “It turns out that even at 70 you don’t know everything.”
During his “Good morning americaIn the interview, Nist and Turner noted that deciding where to settle contributed to their decision to separate.
“Theresa and I have had several heart-to-heart conversations and have taken a close look at our situation, our living situation, etc., and we have come to the mutual conclusion that it is probably time for us to dissolve our marriage,” Turner told Juju Chang on “GMA.”
The ‘Golden Bachelor’ breakup bomb:A look back at Gerry Turner, Theresa Nist’s romance
Eric Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says issues involving incompatible lifestyles, like those described by Nist and Turner on “GMA,” can certainly create challenges for a relationship. These issues, he says, often don’t come to the fore until a couple has had enough time to get to know each other while dating.
“They both have very genuine affection for each other, but are disappointed to discover that they have very different lifestyles and very different expectations about what a relationship would entail,” Anderson says. “A really important part of lasting relationships and love is how you negotiate life together and what your life together will be like, not just at the first spark, but later on.”
Lifestyle compatibility is especially important for older couples, says Nasserzadeh. This is because older people tend to have more family obligations and responsibilities, which can make their lives less flexible.
“When we meet at a crossroads in life, especially at that age, several other things happen. We have other responsibilities in life. Maybe we are grandparents. Maybe we have different social responsibilities than the ones we have. It’s related to that attraction. about our resources,” he says. “Yes, love is possible for anyone at any age, but social and contextual situations are different in different phases of life.”
Further:‘Golden Bachelor’ Gerry Turner talks pickleball, the secret to youth and his ‘quick fix’
Remember: Reality TV Is Often Not Reality
One of the reasons, experts say, why people are so attached to Turner and Nist’s love story is due to the lack of representations in the media, especially reality TV, of adult romances. greater.
Because of this, many fans may have projected their own hopes and aspirations onto Turner and Nist, which can make the news of their breakup seem devastating.
However, it’s important to note that much of reality TV isn’t reality, and that also applies to “The Golden Bachelor” psychotherapist. Stephanie Sarkis says.
“To a large extent, the media represents younger people,” he says. “Because of the style of media we have today, we can get involved in people’s stories and we can take it seriously and get angry when something doesn’t work for someone. And I think that’s part of being empathetic, but we also have to be careful that influence how we live our lives.
‘The Golden Bachelor’Gerry Turner reveals what his late wife would think about his time on reality TV
Nasserzadeh encourages those seeking love in their golden years to truly know themselves as they are now. After all, what you want from a relationship in your seventies may be quite different from what you wanted in your twenties.
“Think about your everyday life,” he says. “What do you want to be with? Who do you want to be with and why?”
It’s also important to remember that finding love is difficult for people of all ages, so be patient with yourself as you navigate dating. No matter your age, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and take some risks.
“People may feel desperate to find love at any age, because finding love is hard and it’s a big task in life and there are a lot of obstacles to it,” Anderson says. “Older people actually have more maturity and knowledge about what they want in relationships, but they may be less willing to take risks. And that could be what gets in the way of them finding love.”
Contributing: Edward Segarra and Taijuan Moormon, USA TODAY
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